Nada Kholeif (Editor's Article)
Hospitals are full of love and loss, hope and sorrows. The medical care team, from doctors and nurses to receptionists and workers, witness everyday people facing health challenges as all of us share the basic human needs.
The Australian nurse “Bronnie Ware” wrote a blog post on the “regrets of the dying” during her time as a palliative carer. The blog was widely shared and read by millions of people. She later expanded her blog into a memoir.
According to Bronnie Ware, the five most common regrets shared by people near death are:
1- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”
2- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every patient that I have nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.”
3- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.”
4- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved.”
5- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
“Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
Knowing these regrets now, we hold a responsibility towards ourselves to learn from these past experiences and take action to avoid these regrets.
One of the things you can do is to take a stand with yourself and speak your truth to what matters most in your life and compare your priorities to your daily actions. Are they in congruency? If not, then something must change. Maybe allocate your resources like time and energy.
In the end, as humans we all want the same things in life, from love and happiness to success and satisfaction. We often get caught up in the moment forgetting the big picture and the true purpose of life.
This is a small reminder of how blessed we are to have time and health to accomplish things in life with no regrets.
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