Nada Kholeif
Life is full of great things, people, and experiences that would be nice to have. This feeling is intensified when we compare ourselves to others.
Sometimes we don’t get what we want and think that it’s the end of the world. Or maybe, we are faced with challenges and hardships that tear us down while others are seemingly doing fine. At these moments we tend to ask ourselves “why me?”
We have all fallen in this trap at one time or another by focusing on the misfortunate events we experience and the things we lack. This makes us feel bad about our lives and ourselves and have a constant dark look at life.
Life is too short to suffer and feel unhappy most of the time. We can either choose to focus on what others have and feel less or focus on what we have and gain more.
The problem is universal because the problem is not with you or me or any one of us. The problem is in the human brain, which is solely focused on one goal- survival. It is not designed to make you happy or joyful, rather it is wired to make you focus on the problem and magnify it so you can operate through fear and scarcity.
The good news is that you still have the power to control what you focus on. You can choose to focus on the problems but you can also choose to focus on the solutions and the blessings.
The cause of all our suffering is our beliefs. Most of the time, we are not aware about how we talk to ourselves and go through life with our limiting beliefs. They may not be correct but they are what we know and have experienced.
Replacing those beliefs with an abundance mindset and gratefulness is a tough journey that requires daily awareness, focus and effort.
Gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness. It is defined as a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. It makes us pay attention to the goodness in our lives.
Psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami have conducted much research on gratitude.
In one study, they divided the participants into 3 groups. One group wrote about the things they were grateful for during the week. The second group were asked to write about their daily irritations. The third group were asked to write about the events that happened to them without particular emphasis.
After 10 weeks, the participants in the group who practiced gratitude were more optimistic and happy with their lives.
Another study showed how gratitude correlates to relationships and how it can improve them. For example, a study of couples showed that expressing gratitude to each other encouraged positive emotions and encouraged expressing feelings and concerns.
These researches don’t prove a direct cause and effect between gratitude and happiness, rather they show an association.
We can practice gratitude in several ways:
1- Keep a journal and write the joys of life.
2- Write 3 things you are grateful for everyday
3- Write thank you notes to the people you love
4- Pay attention to your beliefs and how you think and replace those ideas with an attitude of gratitude.
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you’ll never, ever have enough”
-Oprah Winfrey
References:
https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/adopt-abundance-mindset/
https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
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